Okay, the doctor has confirmed it. I'm depressed. (He was prepared to give a lot of credit to Adored Wife's diagnosis, but I checked a lot more boxes than that.)
Let me just throw this out to get it out of the way. I am NOT, emphatically NOT, suicidal. It's not even on the table, haven't even considered it.
I'm going on maintenance medication for the depression, maybe for a short term, maybe for the rest of my life. No shame in that--it's an imbalance in my brain, not something wrong with my personality or character. The fine tuning needed to find the most effective prescription combination is expected to be a bit of a pain, but that goes with the territory.
I'm actually a little relieved. It's nice to have something concrete I can blame the bad mood on. And Adored Wife is VERY relieved, because she's hoping I'll start acting more like myself soon.
The doctor was pleasantly surprised that a Christian and a minister would be so open about admitting to depression, and there is still a lingering societal stigma, but maybe I can do something to help change all that. I've never been all that covert about the depressive episodes I've had, and, yes, you do run across a few people who think being depressed means that your prayer life needs to be more active. But they're in the minority.
So, new stage in the journey. I'll keep you posted.
Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.
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