Depressive Episodes

I'll be occasionally talking about depressive episodes on here--this is by way of introduction to how I deal with it.  I take St. John's Wort on a regular basis--it's one of those natural herbal things that medical clinical trials have demonstrated really does help with depression.  If I'm off of it for a couple of days, I can tell the difference and Adored Wife can really tell the difference.

About every year and a half or so, I go through a major depressive episode.  A doctor has diagnosed it as clinical dysthymia, and it's no fun.  Episodes have lasted anywhere from eight to eighteen days.  The last one was in December of 2014 and lasted sixteen days so I can probably look forward to one somewhere around next June or July.  Whee!

When in a depressive episode:
1. I wake up early and can't get back to sleep.
2. I have no enthusiasm about anything.
3. I am extremely disinclined to work.
4. I'm prone to spending excessive amounts of time fidgeting and fiddling with things (this is called "somatic preoccupation.")
5. My sense of humor disappears, as does my patience.
6. My creativity disappears.
7. I get temperamental and sullen.
8. Really weird things happen in my imagination.

Basically I don't have any fun and I'm no fun to be around and all the world seems sad and gray and dull and pointless and stupid.  I make myself get out of bed and get my work done through sheer force of will, but it's exhausting.

Having occasional bouts of depression makes me more empathetic to other sufferers.  Sometimes people try to cheer me up--I appreciate the effort but if you've never been "depressed" yourself you might have a hard time understanding that it just doesn't work that way.  When I'm depressed things that I would normally find funny or exciting or challenging simply don't have any effect on me.

And I really, really, really don't appreciate the thankfully rare people who think I ought to be able to just snap myself out of it.  It doesn't work that way, either.

But it does come to an end and the brain starts working again and it's a wonderful feeling when that happens.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.

Frustration With Bullies

I try to approach most things with a sense of humor.  I have a tough time thinking of anything funny about bullying.

Basement Artist dealt with bullies in her day and Graphics Magician deals with them in his.  Social Hurricane ran across bullies but never had any really significant issues with them if memory serves.  (I think she scared most of them away to be honest with you.)

It's a serious problem in our day and age and one that frustrates me tremendously as a parent.  Any time one of my children has mentioned bullying, what dad really wants to do is go find these little jerks who think it's entertaining to torment others and explain a few things to them in no uncertain terms.

I do understand that's probably not a workable idea.  But it makes me feel helpless and I don't like feeling helpless.  I know there are mean and cruel people in the world and that sooner or later my children will have to learn how to deal with them.  And I also know that my own children aren't perfect angels either and sometimes children really don't intend or understand the harm they wind up causing.  And I also know that teachers and school officials deplore bullying and try to curb it but they're not miracle workers.

And I really do know that, to take my son as an example, he really, really, REALLY doesn't want me to go charging into the school and throw my weight around.  He'll survive a few middle school jerks.  He knows he will.  But the embarrassment of having his dad go in and try to fix things could wind up haunting him for decades.  He'll take the bullies, thanks anyway.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless. 

Lines of Salt in the House

Among Social Hurricane's other issues she suffers from hallucinatory episodes.  She's twenty years old,and she's seen the monster that lives in her closet.  When it's bad we occasionally have to repeat things because, while she heard us, she didn't know this was an instance where the voices were real.

The psychiatrist is willing to put her on antipsychotic medication but that has so many unpleasant side effects (plus we keep the pharmacy so busy already) that she chooses to deal with things with a container of salt.

See, SH knows this stuff's not real.  Knowing doesn't really help.  But if she puts down a line of salt on the floor the monsters can't cross that.  So there's a line of salt in front of her closet because that keeps the monster in and there's a line in front of her bedroom door because that way the terrors in the rest of the house can't get into her room.  It works for her.

We know it's been a bad night when we get up and there are various lines of salt in the hallway.

We just step over the lines.  If the Hurricane needs to put salt down, she needs to put salt down.  And Adored Wife makes sure she buys SH her own container of salt when she goes shopping so the Hurricane doesn't use up AW's cooking supplies.

SH also burns incense sometimes when things are bad because apparently the creatures don't like the scent and it helps to keep them away.  I don't like the scent either but if Social needs it I can put up with it.  Of course sometimes I think she just likes the incense herself and tells me she needs it for monster-repellent so I won't bug her about it.

We do reserve the right to kid her about the salt usage.  But not too much, because otherwise she might chase the monster out of her closet and into ours.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.