I was in the wrong the other night, and Graphics Magician called me on it, and I had to apologize to him.
My mistake--my BIG mistake--was expecting him to be able to handle things like a grownup. I really, really, really have to watch that.
He'd been called down for disrespectful conduct. And that part his mother and I actually handled pretty well; he was in the wrong and we told him, calmly and patiently enough, that his behavior was unacceptable. But by that point he was angry and abashed and uncomfortable and just wanted to leave the room to go process things and simmer down.
And I should have just let him go, and caught back up with him later when he'd had a chance to settle. But I insisted that he remain there and face up to his actions, which was a serious blunder on my part. Adolescence is tricky, and I wasn't taking into account the fact that his brain is a swirling thunderstorm of hormones and rampaging emotions and cognitive confusion, and I was being really, really unreasonable in expecting him to be able to calmly and maturely stay and discuss things.
I need to remember that he's thirteen.
In his room later he still couldn't coherently frame his thoughts but he told me that he didn't know what to say or do at that point and he was afraid that anything he DID say would only get him in more trouble (which was probably true) and he just wanted to leave. And I should have just let him, and I was in the wrong, and I apologized. It wasn't a bad moment.
Maybe I'll do better next time. I need to remember to be the grownup.
Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.
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