I Haven't Talked About Anger Yet?

Looking back over this blog I can't believe I haven't talked about my anger issues yet.

Nobody really thinks I have anger issues, because most people have never seen me angry and the ones who have have seen it only rarely.  And to be fair it doesn't happen often.  It takes honestly a LOT to tick me off.

But when I'm angry I have no idea what to do with it.

I'm angry right now, writing this.  I don't particularly need to tell you what about; it's not important.  But my anger looks a lot like depression.  I turn it inward, swallow it, stifle it.  It's not depression; I know what true depression feels like and it's completely different.  But it looks a lot the same from the outside--I'm emotionally shut down and unable to function all that well because I'm spending all that energy keeping a lid on things.

It's a good lid.  I'm in absolutely no danger of blowing my stack or losing my cool unless I were to be really, really provoked.  Not likely to happen.

I know this isn't healthy, but I honestly have never had any idea what to do with my anger.  I'm no expert on this one, friends--I have no helpful advice or wisdom to share.  I do pray about it and I try to stay involved with doing productive things--the same sort of thing that gets me through depressive episodes.  Eventually the anger will simmer down and I'll feel normal again.  I have no idea if it truly goes away or if I'm just building up this forty-year stockpile of rage and some day I'll do something crazy like run for public office.

Confessions of an angry man.  Heavenly Father, I crave Your wisdom and guidance.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.