Consumed by Problems

I was a small-church pastor some years back and I regularly visited an elderly shut in, about whom I'm going to use the word "pathetic."  It's a condescending word, and not one I use lightly.  She was in a truly pitiful condition.

She was severely visually impaired, almost totally blind.  But that wasn't what made her case so sad.

What made her pathetic was that she was absolutely consumed by her blindness.  It was all she wanted to talk about, all she wanted to pray about, the only thing on her mind.  How unjust God was for making her blind, how hard it was to do anything because she was blind, how fortunate people were who weren't blind, how much time and effort she spent trying to get doctors to help her alleviate in some way her blindness.

I don't mean to belittle her impairment--I treasure my eyesight and consider myself very blessed to be able to see to take care of myself and enjoy the beauties of the world.  But there are lots of other people much worse off than she was who are having a much more enjoyable life.  She was in a comfortable assisted living facility with a husband who loved her and took care of her, she had a roof over her head and three meals a day, she had people to talk to and activities she could have participated in and all the music and radio access she could possibly have wanted.  Other than the eyesight her health was reasonably good--she was mobile, had a good appetite, and decent strength and endurance.  She had a lot to be thankful for.

I would even have been happy to have her as an active part of our church's prayer ministry, and on more than one occasion I tried to direct her attention to some need in the church or community that I would have appreciated her praying about.

She would have none of it.  Her vision problems dominated the conversation, and she would talk about nothing else.  I grew weary of visiting her, because I knew the visits would be a litany of complaints about one subject.  I would make efforts to redirect the conversation, even directly (and hopefully lovingly) rebuking her a few times for her attitude, but to no avail.  She was miserable and determined to stay miserable.

I would always end the visit asking how I could pray for her, and the answer was always the same, to pray that God might restore her vision.

Sad, very, very sad. 

Ah, well.

Hope all's going okay out there, friends, and God bless.

Talking About Inessential Things

In the household we need to talk about schedules and calendars and school and insurance and bills and taxes and jobs and rides and shopping and the wedding and relationships and coordinating vehicles and chores and rent and doctor visits and all manner of things.  There's all manner of things that need to be discussed and planned and settled.

But you can't build a relationship on the necessary things.  You can build a partnership, sure.  You can build a business, yes.  But to build a family you have to spend some time talking about the inessential things.

So with Adored Wife I talk about Marvel superheroes and funny things little kids say and do and history and philosophy and linguistics.

With Basement Artist I talk about alternate worlds and time travel and the stories of Ray Bradbury and poetry and politics and pirates.

With Social Hurricane I talk about sunrises and Fablehaven and Captain America and cosplaying and anime.

With Graphics Magician I talk about.....oh, where to start......girls and sports and middle school and government and math and the future and bullies and fights and pranks and friends and animal behavior and the nature of the universe and trees and weather and wishes.  (I kind of let him direct the conversation and his mind goes everywhere.)

And then, sometimes, with the family, we have to talk about the necessary things that let you keep the household going.  But you can't live there--that's not living, it's just existing.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.

Adored Wife Gets Stuck

Adored Wife tells a funny story on herself:

AW and Graphics Magician were alone in the house.  GM hadn't been feeling well and she was checking on him in his bunk bed.  He has a set of steps leading up to it and she stepped wrong on the first step and broke it, stranding herself on the second step.  Because of her balance and other neurological issues, she had absolutely no way to safely get down.

This has woken up GM, and he becomes aware of his mother's precarious position.  Half asleep he says "don't move" and goes in search of a step stool.  The first one he brings is too low to the ground so, still groggy, he goes down to the very cold garage and manages to find the larger one.

His mother relates that she is standing there feeling like an idiot the whole time stuck two feet off the ground, but she was quite relieved when GM came back with the "good" step stool and she was able to navigate safely back to the floor.

And she did manage to check on Graphics Magician, so it's all good.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.

Caught at Karaoke!

For reasons of my own I prefer that my eldest daughter doesn't drive the ailing Jeep home from work late at night. For other reasons, it's sometimes preferable that she drives the Jeep to work.  Long story short, I will occasionally drop off at the bar & grill where she serves capably as a prep cook to trade vehicles with her.  She doesn't know when I'm going to do this, only that it's sometime during her shift.  I'll usually catch her dishwashing or making sandwiches or cutting chicken or something, you know, kitcheny.  I'll say "hi" and drop the keys off, and then head off in the Jeep.  (I keep a spare set for the Jeep, so I don't have to get keys from her.)

The other night I parked in the back of the restaurant and walked in the kitchen entrance.  I'm friends with the owner and my daughter of course works there, so I'm comfortable enough doing this.

There was no one in the kitchen, which is unprecedented for me.  I follow the sounds through to the dining room.  They'd hit a slow period--there were numerous people eating but nobody had ordered anything recently and so the kitchen staff took a break and came out to get something to drink and chill out for a bit.

And Basement Artist was singing Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" at the karaoke machine.  Now, her voice is very soft owing to some laryngeal damage in her infancy, and she doesn't have much in the way of volume.  But she had a microphone.  And she has a pleasant contralto and she was carrying the tune very capably.  I was impressed.

She was a little abashed to be caught in the act.  She finished the song and came over to give me a hug.

"Hi, Papa.  I wasn't expecting you."

"Clearly."

I handed over the keys and, grinning, took my leave and let her get back to it.  She's NEVER going to live this down.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.

Adulting

We have a twenty-three year old and a twenty-one year old living at home, but the situation is not at all permanent.

Basement Artist is a young adult woman and has grown up living with an extreme case of introversion, shyness, a permanently quiet voice from early damage, and fundamental insecurity.

Social Hurricane is a young adult woman dealing with anxiety issues, humongous dyslexia, and full-blown bipolar disorder.

They're both adulting.  I suppose there are people for whom adulting comes easily.  It never did for me, and it hasn't for my daughters.

They're both paying bills, holding down jobs, managing insurance and medical stuff and looking to the future.  BA is planning a wedding and then a move to Canada from North Carolina and SH is looking at further education and figuring out what she wants to do and where she wants to go when she flies the nest, which she's expecting will be within the year.

There's a lot of uncertainty, a few mistakes here and there, and an awful lot of "we're making this up as we go along."  We've had lots of long talks, and we've provided a lot of hints here and there.  But we can't do this for them.  I've love to have them blog about their own experiences, but so far, no luck.

But I wish them the best with it.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.

Celebrating

There have been a few challenges of late in our household for me personally, and it's very easy to get bogged down with my eyes on the negative stuff.

Today I choose to celebrate the blessings.  In no particular order, just as they occur to me:

1. It is very soothing to watch a cat sleep, and very entertaining to watch him play with a cardboard box and packing material.
2. There is plenty to eat in my kitchen.  I don't have any worries whatsoever over where my next meal is coming from, or indeed my next several meals.
3. I have no shortage of things to play with in my leisure time.  I have several good books I'm working through, numerous episodes of "Mythbusters" recorded, lots of computer games if I'm so inclined, and a new tool chest I want to get set up and organized.  Boredom is not a problem.
4. I have weights, a chin-up bar, and a treadmill if I feel the need of exercise.
5. I enjoy talking with both my girls about fictional stuff--movies, creative writing endeavors, books, television shows.  I like hearing about their work and telling them about mine.
6. My son, while on occasion an uncommunicative teenager, often surprises me with his ability to carry on an insightful conversation about current events and matters philosophical.
7. My wife and I have a mutual love of the theater, have very similar tastes in popular culture, and have a couple of games we like to play together.  She usually wins.  But not always.
8, On a professional level I like my co-workers, get to interact with lots of delightful people, and the other night got to spend twenty minutes on the playground with a lively three year old boy.  We had a ball.  Plus I get to hold babies a lot.
9. My parents are elderly and beset with many health difficulties, but they are still with us and I cherish the time we have.
10. I have ample evidence that God is watching over me, guiding me, and taking care of me.
11. I have plenty of creative pursuits, and opportunities to do things that I am both good at and find fulfilling.
12. I have a relationship with an accountability partner, a godly man who gently keeps me straight.
13. I am close to my family, particularly my twin brother.  We talk frequently, about everything.
14. My health, while not perfect, is good.  I'm strong, capable, generally feel well and energetic, and I sleep great.

I feel better already.  May I encourage you, friends, to count your own blessings?  Hope all's well out there, and may God watch over you.

Bathing the Cat

There are a couple of scratches on my left forearm, a few small ones on my hands, and a truly impressive set of claw marks on my right arm.  Fortunately most of them are fairly superficial.

We've been combating a flea problem.  We don't have many fleas, but there are a few and Adored Wife is militantly trying to eradicate them.  We've bombed the house twice, we've put down flea traps, we've ruthlessly and regularly powdered the carpet, vacuumed, and repeated.  We're still getting a couple of fleas a day in the traps.  Kind of mystified.

So, last night we gave the cat a bath.  Again.  And when I say "we" I mean "I."  The girls watched.  I'd given him a flea bath a few weeks ago and it wasn't too bad, because he had no idea what to expect.  I had him in, shampooed, washed, and out before he knew what hit him, and then he was free to run with mad indignation through the house.

This time I was trying to do a more thorough job.  And he was on guard for it when I brought him into the bathtub.

I don't know if you've ever tried to restrain a panicking, soaking wet, small whirling yowling tornado full of razor blades, but if you have you might have some idea of what I was up against.

I got him bathed because I was GOING to get him bathed and I'm too stubborn to let a few battle wounds stop me.  But, yeah, I was bleeding at the end of the encounter and Oscar was dripping wet and ill as a hornet.

Hopefully he's flea-free today.  But if not it still makes a lively story to tell.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.