Social Hurricane Does the Adulting Thing

Social Hurricane will be twenty-two next month.  She'd be the first to tell you she's a little behind the typical schedule as far as moving toward adulthood.

To be fair, she had a rough couple of years, largely due to the onset of massive full-bore bipolar disorder coupled with anxiety issues and a a pretty intense learning disability.  Some really poor decision making in the middle of all that could also be said to be a significant contributing factor.

Of course, getting hit by a car probably didn't help much.  There probably are other young women her age who've had two stays in psychiatric facilities, a couple of weeks in the hospital, and a few additional weeks in a physical therapy rehabilitation facility, but I'm pretty sure she's in the minority.  We've lost count of the number of emergency room visits, and don't get me started on doctor bills.

But I digress.  She's moving toward adulthood.  She's employed full time as a CNA, which is no mean accomplishment in and of itself.  She's trying to get the hang of paying taxes, budgeting, bills, and keeping up with her own prescriptions and doctor visits.  At some point in time she's determined to get her driver's licence, but the anxiety aggravates the dyslexia, and she hasn't had the best of showings yet.  (Did you know that driving on the wrong side of the road is apparently an automatic fail in North Carolina?)  She wants to go on for further schooling and training, which we applaud; she's thinking phlebotomy.  She's definitely on a good career path for her--she likes working with people and with her hands.

And, at some point in time, she wants to move out, to spread her wings and fly.

Frankly, we're a little nervous about that possibility.  To be honest, so far she hasn't inspired a lot of confidence.  But she's way beyond what she was a couple of years ago--let's see what the next little while brings.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.

A Family Shame?

There's a family I'm thinking of and praying for that probably doesn't read this blog.  I'm reaching out to them privately, but I don't intend to draw their attention to this.

They've had a child attempt suicide.  Their son survived, but with serious injuries, and he's going to need a lot of physical recovery and rehabilitation before they can even start addressing the psychological and emotional issues.  I can't tell you names, of course, but you might pray for them?

They're going through a horrible time right now.  Their Christian faith is strong, but still, they're exhausted and bewildered.

And, they're a little ashamed of talking about it.  I don't know, maybe they feel like this is some sort of failure?  I intend to respect their privacy and I'm not going to pry beyond what they're comfortable sharing, but it makes me sad that, with all of the other burdens they're carrying right now, they have to bear the weight of shame.

Social Hurricane went through a pretty rough patch a few years back, and would still be the first to tell you that she has some issues to work on, but she's doing HUMONGOUSLY better now.  But she made a couple of suicide attempts, thankfully neither of which resulted in any major lasting injury.

We've done lots of things wrong.  But one thing we did right--from the get-go we decided that we weren't going to be ashamed of this.  Our daughter had some legitimate psychiatric issues and was in need of medical treatment, and there was absolutely no reason we couldn't be open about that and seek the prayer and emotional support of our family and friends.  We figured that a little bit of truth was better than a whole lot of rumor and responded accordingly.

And we've never regretted it.  It was much easier on her, and on us, to have the facts and the situation out in the open.  It was easier to deal with medically, socially, and relationally with everyone--we didn't have to hide anything.  It's amazing how freeing that was.

I'd encourage any of you, dealing with personal or family issues like this, to realize that there's no need for shame or embarrassment.  It's easier to get help and be helped if we can be honest with one another about the burdens we carry and the troubles we face.

I hope all's well with you out there, friends, and God bless.

Knocking Down the Door

Men and women react to things differently.  I'll illustrate, but first I have to tell you a story.

A few years back Social Hurricane had a really rough patch--running away, getting mixed up in bad company, acting out, PLUS a few suicide attempts.  She's been in psychiatric treatment facilities twice and has been in regular counseling and is a LOT more together these days.

But I knocked down her bedroom door one time.  It'd been an intense and stressful day and we'd had Defcon 5 levels of trouble.  Long story short, she'd locked herself in her room and was busily cutting her wrists in there and I didn't have time to go get the screwdriver and delicately finagle things.

I don't know if I've mentioned that I'm on the large side and actually quite strong?  Plus, you know, interior door.  I shoved once and broke the whole door frame.  SH later said the door came "exploding into the room."  Adored Wife was with me and told me it was pretty impressive.

I'd never knocked down a door before and haven't had occasion to do so since.

Now, here's the difference between men and women.  You tell this story to women, and they say some variation of "oh, that's terrible."  You tell this to men and they'll SAY "that's terrible" but inside they're all thinking "I've ALWAYS wanted to do that."

And honestly?  Despite all the troubles we were having and how stressful everything was, I'd always wanted to knock down a door.  That part of the evening was pretty cool.  It's a guy thing.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.