Invisible Troubles

This is a thing that bugs me just a little.

Have I mentioned that I have a bad knee?  Two knee surgeries, next step is probably a knee replacement, but it HONESTLY doesn't really bother me as long as I behave myself.  I can walk for miles, a flight of stairs is no problem, I can engage in heavy manual labor, I can do all kinds of things.  When I've been overdoing it, as happens from time to time, then the knee acts up and gives me a little bit of trouble, and yes, there's some discomfort and an obvious limp.

Lots of people know that I have a bad knee, because I can't hide the occasional limp.  But I think maybe it troubles me ten days a year, tops.  Seriously, that's about how often it is.  It's not a big deal.

Now, here's the thing.  There are lots and lots of things in my life that I could wish were otherwise.  I mean, God's good and takes care of me, and I don't really have anything to worry about.  But sometimes life is difficult, and there are a lot of pressures that could get to me if I let them.  And I'm not proud of this, but sometimes I let them.  But all those troubles are invisible--most people don't know about them unless I say something.

But if I had a nickel for every time someone asked me how my knee was doing, I'd have....oh, let's not exaggerate.....probably enough for a burger and fries, plus drink, over the past few years.  It's not an everyday thing, but it's pretty often.

And sometimes I want to tell people that if my knee was all I had to worry about I'd consider myself a remarkably happy man.  Sometimes I want to tell them that my knee doesn't even make the "Top Twenty" list of things that bother me.  Sometimes if I had my wish I'd wish people would make the effort to get to know the REAL burdens I carry.

Anyway, it's a little frustrating sometimes, and it'd be nice to occasionally get a little compassion and understanding for the invisible troubles.  Thanks for letting me vent.

God bless, friends.

The Neighbors Like Us

The title of the blog is "The Neighbors Think We're Normal," but as it happens we're pretty friendly with some of our neighbors, and they know a fair amount about us.

And they like us anyway.

Case in point--we have one hospitable family in the neighborhood that hosts a nearly-weekly hot dog roast (weather permitting--it doesn't happen in the dead of winter.)  Several families come and bring hot dogs and burgers and side dishes and desserts and we have a lot of fun hanging out and enjoying each other's company.

Adored Wife, as I believe I've told you, can't comfortably sit down for any length of time--after about fifteen minutes her spine and neck really start to hurt and she has to go lie down.  (Getting up and moving around before she hits the limit can extend the time, which is why we tend to eat in buffet restaurants on the rare occasions we do go out.) She can stand for substantially longer than that, especially if she has something she can lean on.

So at the hot dog roast you have all these people sitting in chairs around the firepit roasting weenies.  But the neighbors have brought out a couple of storage bins (selected to make them a comfortable height) so AW has a place she can stand and lean, and also a surface on which she can put her plate and her drink.  Nobody ELSE at the get-together gets their own private table--we have to use our laps.  And my wife can last a lot longer with that arrangement than if she had to sit down or stand unsupported.

And I'm very appreciative of our neighbors for taking some pains to make sure she can enjoy herself.  And enjoy herself she does.

Thanks for reading, friends.  Hope all's well out there, and God bless.

Compensating for Life

When people's vision is less than ideal, they wear glasses (or contacts or get expensive surgery done or just live with it.)

Some injuries or illnesses (or aging) can impair mobility, and people may walk with a cane or crutches or a walker, or sometimes use a wheelchair or other specialized equipment to get around.

Sometimes people adapt their homes for greater accessibility, or they use hearing aids, or companion animals, or maintenance medication, or prosthetic parts, or dialysis machines, as a way to compensate for some things their body can't do quite as well as they'd like.

Some deficiencies are mental or emotional, of course, and so people learn coping techniques and environmental management and they build networks of educated and compassionate friends and family, all to help them live as "normal" a life as possible.

It's a testament to the human spirit.  When our bodies or our brains let us down, we adapt.  We accommodate.  We adjust.  We don't give in to the infirmities; we find a way to compensate for them and so get on with the serious business of living.

In our household we try not to be defined by what we can't do (although in all fairness even Adored Wife, arguably the most "impaired" of us physically, is only mildly incapacitated; there are lots and lots of people much worse off.)  We make what allowances we have to, and then get on with things.

I can't prescribe this approach for everyone and I certainly don't mean to patronize--as I said, there are those who daily deal with MUCH more significant issues than we face, and for some of them that issue defines their lives.  But I'd encourage you, dear readers, with whatever physical or emotional or mental imperfection you live with, to find a way to compensate for it to the fullest extent possible, and get on with your life.

You can do this.

God bless.

Mini-Vacation

This one doesn't highlight any real problems--it's mostly just a happy post.

Adored Wife, Social Hurricane, Graphics Magician and I took an overnight mini-vacation to Gatlinburg, Tennessee.  (Basement Artist was in Montreal visiting the fiance.)

We had to make some accommodations for AW's physical limits, of course.  And the Hurricane did have an anxiety attack while walking by herself downtown, but she coped with it on her own, no harm done.  Overall everything went very smoothly and we had a great time.

We visited the Bush's Baked Beans visitor center in Chestnut Hill, TN.  (Go sometime, if you get the chance.)  We visited the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum in Gatlinburg.  (I kid you not, if you're ever in the Gatlinburg area, make a point of visiting this place--it's a wonderful little treat, very economical and hugely entertaining.  We've been a few times and we recommend it to everyone we know.  They're only open for a few hours midday, though, so you'll have to schedule around it.)  And we went to the Rainforest Adventures in Sevierville, which was grand fun.

Otherwise we played in the hotel pool, saw some of the Smokey Mountains by car, and walked around downtown Gatlinburg a little.  Did some window-shopping, saw the sights, and generally just enjoyed ourselves.  Other than driving through a nasty storm on the way back, no real hiccups or issues.

No point to this, but every now and then it's nice to tell you a pleasant one.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.

A Family Shame?

There's a family I'm thinking of and praying for that probably doesn't read this blog.  I'm reaching out to them privately, but I don't intend to draw their attention to this.

They've had a child attempt suicide.  Their son survived, but with serious injuries, and he's going to need a lot of physical recovery and rehabilitation before they can even start addressing the psychological and emotional issues.  I can't tell you names, of course, but you might pray for them?

They're going through a horrible time right now.  Their Christian faith is strong, but still, they're exhausted and bewildered.

And, they're a little ashamed of talking about it.  I don't know, maybe they feel like this is some sort of failure?  I intend to respect their privacy and I'm not going to pry beyond what they're comfortable sharing, but it makes me sad that, with all of the other burdens they're carrying right now, they have to bear the weight of shame.

Social Hurricane went through a pretty rough patch a few years back, and would still be the first to tell you that she has some issues to work on, but she's doing HUMONGOUSLY better now.  But she made a couple of suicide attempts, thankfully neither of which resulted in any major lasting injury.

We've done lots of things wrong.  But one thing we did right--from the get-go we decided that we weren't going to be ashamed of this.  Our daughter had some legitimate psychiatric issues and was in need of medical treatment, and there was absolutely no reason we couldn't be open about that and seek the prayer and emotional support of our family and friends.  We figured that a little bit of truth was better than a whole lot of rumor and responded accordingly.

And we've never regretted it.  It was much easier on her, and on us, to have the facts and the situation out in the open.  It was easier to deal with medically, socially, and relationally with everyone--we didn't have to hide anything.  It's amazing how freeing that was.

I'd encourage any of you, dealing with personal or family issues like this, to realize that there's no need for shame or embarrassment.  It's easier to get help and be helped if we can be honest with one another about the burdens we carry and the troubles we face.

I hope all's well with you out there, friends, and God bless.

Thanks For Reading

I wanted to take a little time to thank you for reading.

This is a relatively new blog and a small one; I have absolutely no talent or aptitude for engendering a bigger following for it, although I know there are people who are good at such things.  I'm okay with that, but I don't feel any particular leadings to do so.  If this finds an audience or meets a need, great.

But there are a few regular readers out there, and I want you to know that I appreciate it.  I hope the things I write are of some value to you, in some form or fashion.

One of the things I particularly like to do is to ask people how I can pray for them.  I'm a big believer in the power of prayer--we know that God hears our prayers and, in some amazing and incomprehensible fashion, we know that those prayers can influence the Almighty Himself.  Don't ask me how that works; I can't wrap my own head around it.  But there are numerous examples in the Bible where God heeded the prayers of His people.

And so, I'd like to ask, is there any way in particular I can pray for you?  You can just leave a comment below if you'd like me to lift up something in your own family or personal life--I won't misuse or take advantage of any information you might share.  I'll just make a point of remembering you.

You might pray for me for guidance if you will.  I've got some things going on in my life I'm trying to figure out, and wisdom and discernment would be much appreciated.

Thanks again for reading, and God bless.  I hope everything's going well out there.

The Value of Doing Something

When Basement Artist is introverted out, there's value in doing something.

When Social Hurricane is anxious and nervous, there's value in doing something.

When Adored Wife is having a bad brain day, there's value in doing something.

When Graphics Magician is bored and moody, there's value in doing something.

And when I'm depressed and sluggish, there's....well, you get the idea.

There's great benefit to be had in choosing to do SOMETHING.  To get moving.  To do some little chore or some creative act.  To get some exercise.  To read a good book.  To make an encouraging phone call or text or email or tweet.  Pretty much anything, in fact.

It's hard, sometimes, to do something.  It's easier to be paralyzed by anxiety or fatigue or depression or lethargy or confusion, or boredom.

But our family often finds that it's better, far better, to face the inertia head-on and MAKE ourselves get moving.  We feel much better for it, and it helps put things in perspective.  We feel more optimistic, more in control, more on top of things.

If you're having a down time, friends, let me encourage you to do something.  God bless.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Tomorrow's my birthday, yay!  My twin brother and I will be forty-eight years old.

I understand midlife crisis--I'm nowhere nearly the financial or professional success I might have hoped for at this age.

But I wrote this on Facebook a couple of years ago:

All kidding aside, birthdays lend to introspection. Forty-six years old, probably solidly in the mid-life crisis stage, lots of things that I could wish were otherwise.

But this evening:
1. I have a roof over my head.
2. I have plenty to eat.
3. I have a beautiful family and there is love in my home.
4. I can walk, talk, work, and rest.
5. My sins are forgiven in Jesus' name and God has promised to never leave me.

So, yeah. I'm good. Today's been great.

Good night, friends. Be well.

And it's still true.  I have much to be thankful for and much to be happy about.

Hope all's well out there, friends, and God bless.

Adored Wife's Surgery Date

You know, most people, facing surgery, would think it was kind of a big deal.

At this writing, Adored Wife has hernia surgery coming up.   By the time this publishes it'll be over with--I'm a few days ahead on the blog. To her, it's just one more thing.  She deals with so many health issues on a regular basis that this isn't really fazing her.  She's sorted out the scheduling, made sure insurance has it covered, we have a convalescent plan, and then, enh, it's just another day.

When she recovers from this she'll probably go ahead and get the major carpal tunnel issues taken care of.

The only thing really concerning her is that, post-abdominal surgery, many people have to use their arms to do a lot of the moving around their stomach muscles normally handle.  AW can't really bear any weight on her arms, so that's an issue.

No problem.  I shall lend her whatever strength she needs (he said gallantly.)  I'm taking a little time and, with all due modesty, I'm really remarkably strong.

The only thing worrying ME is that she gets cranky and bored when she's laid up.  I'll have to make sure to come up with some projects she CAN do to keep her busy, or there'll be no living with her.  The computer is a wonderful thing.

Ya'll pray for us now, you hear?

Thanks, friends, and God bless.

Addendum: Surgery went well, and she's had an uncomfortable couple of days, which was to be expected.  All things considered she's doing okay and is behaving herself.  Which, you know, is kind of surprising.